Surviving LUPUS

THIS week’s theme/prompt is:

TAILS – “A Love Story”

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I want everyone to write about a time when “Love” played a part in your life. Of course it can be about a person, but you can also write about a beloved pet, your first car, etc.

I almost let go of LOVE because of my LUPUS.

You see when I was researching about my disease way back in 2002, I stumble upon an article that tells about a woman who was advised by a doctor to break up with his boyfriend because of her LUPUS for the reason that it would be unfair to her boyfriend due to the fact that she cannot give birth in the future plus of course the uncertainty that the disease can bring.

I was so depressed when I read that article. For one, my boyfriend has been the only positive thing at that early time of my struggle with lupus. He was the one who rush me to the hospital, stayed and looks after me during my confinement, hold my hand every time I am in pain, and prayed for me everyday. Giving him up would mean a great deal to me. But I am not a selfish person. So I started to toy with the idea to let him go and let him find a healthier girlfriend. I have been building up my courage to talk to him.

When I got to talk to him about breaking up he merely laugh. He said it is his choice, and his choice is to stick with me, with or without LUPUS, because HE LOVES ME. But I am still feeling guilty. I cannot let somebody else suffer because of me. I argued with him until I wept. I told him I am scared of our future and I don’t want to be accused of being selfish. And that I might not get well. He shrugged those all of and told me I would get well. All I need is to fight and have faith. He continued by asking ‘Am I not enough motivation for you to fight back? Are you not tired of being sick?’

That has been a wake up call to me. It made me realized that I am throwing away a chance of a lifetime. God is giving me one of my most desired prayers – a true unconditional love and here am I letting it go. From that time on I change my attitude towards life and my lupus. Instead of considering it to be a curse I look at it as a blessing in disguise. Through my LUPUS, I found how much I am love. And most importantly, I found a man who never gives up on me even if I give up on myself.

Through my boyfriend’s support and encouragement after three years of battling again severe joint pains I started to walk normally again. I was even declared in remission in 2005 (means my LUPUS is inactive). Because of that we decided to have our simple civil wedding in May 19 with only the judge and two strangers as sponsor present. And five months after we discovered that we are pregnant.

Today, I still feel that love every minute, every second of the day despite the distance. My husband is currently working in Kuwait and would only go home every six months. It’s a tough situation because ever since I met him we never were apart that long and that far. But we need to do it for our future. And here are the love of my life, God’s gift to me and HIS instrument for me to keep on fighting everyday.

  

 

 

 

 

 

That was us a day before my husband left for Kuwait last January. Hopefully he’ll be home for a vacation in June,

Oh and….

More hotties here!

Tags: lupiemom joins HOT

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 10th, 2009 at 5:58 am and is filed under lupiemom joins HOT. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.