And my battles began. It takes me back to year 2002 when my lupus is very active and I cannot even walk properly. But I hope just like the other attack though it lasted for two years I can bounce back. It may take a while but I am keeping my fingers crossed that God would still allow me to see my daughter grow old. I am scared at the moment but with faith I can pull through. I am trying my best to stay on the positive side and think that if in the past we were able to survived then we can survived this one. God will lead the way.

I am struggling. More on the psychological side because I feel so low. I am trying very hard not to throw away cell phone batteries out of frustration. I hate what I am feeling and I don’t know what to do. When I look at my badly bruised legs I lose hope. And when I cannot lift my leg I feel that my world crashes. The husband already want me to go to the ER. Because as of this moment I have colds and coughs. I know this is a bad sign. I am just thankful that tomorrow we will be going to the clinic and I am meeting my doctor already. Come what may. I hope god will not make me undergo a knee surgery.